The past few days I have spent brewing and stewing, in the best way possible. I have been trying to accept that I will finish school in a year because I cannot financially afford it. But I won’t accept that.
I plan to live up to my potential of becoming an actual social worker and at this point I don’t know what that road will look like.
I will count pennies if I have to, because I have over a year to save for at least my first semester once I am done my diploma. I don’t even know how many tries it will take for me to get into the degree program. The future is so unknown at this point, but I do know where I was. I remember those feelings of complete and utter despair.
I didn’t think I would ever recover from not only the addictions I was caught in, but also the state of mind I was in. But here I am, alive and well.
The thoughts that have been running through my mind were about how I wish I had saved money from my past. I wish this, I wish that. And it dawned on me that right now I have the opportunity to save money so that years down the road I’m not sitting with a diploma in my hand crying to myself that I wish I had done things different so I could get my degree.
In one day I saved $50 towards my goal. I don’t need to buy tea at school. I don’t need to go out for dinner. I don’t need fancy stuff in my bath. I don’t need to go thrifting just because it makes me feel better. I don’t need to spend money because I have it.
Today I am reframing my mind and I am going to do whatever it takes to become a social worker. I will not feel sorry for my past. I will not let myself ruin my future. I will not regret all the time lost.
I understand the universe and it’s plan for me. I am not trying to run the show but I do know that in order for me to get to that end goal – I need to work harder than ever before.
I am grateful.
Becoming Brave 