Hope.

I wish I could find the words to express how proud I am of myself. It wasn’t too long ago where I was sitting in my bed crying and fighting myself to stay in school. Or even before school started and wondering if I could even manage. Or all the times I questioned my path while I was even succeeding in school. How far should I go? Am I strong enough to do this?

Imposter syndrome is a real thing because even working in this field already that I am about to graduate with a diploma in, I don’t feel like I am a professional yet. I feel like I am something else entirely and it is not good, nor bad. It is just different. It feels like I am running in a parallel dimension to my clients. Like I recognize what they are going through, I can feel it in my bones – but I can also feel the warmth of my clothes on my body. I can smell the freshness on my skin. I can feel my skin that is now smooth. I can see that now I have eyebrows. These are surfaces things, but for someone who has experienced the opposite of them – they are huge. I know when I leave work I will get into my car. I will drive to my home. I will cook the food from my fridge. I will do all the things that I missed out on for so many years. Something inside of me has hope for each one of the people that crosses my path. Because I can still feel in my bones, the core of my soul – the actual truth about what it’s like to feel so desperate that you will do anything to change.

I have so much hope for these people and that lives so deep inside of me.

But also, I feel like the luckiest person alive to be living such a good life today- because of the work that I put in and all of the people that helped me along the way.