Rest.

I just feel so drained. My body feels like it’s going through withdrawl and I keep having to remind myself to be gentle, as I am technically going through withdrawl from Wellbutrin. I think it’s been about 5 days since I stopped taking it completely and it’s been on and off.

Sleep feels like it’s the only thing that feels right, but at the same time it’s pulling me down. How can a person sleep as much as I do? I keep wanting to sneak off to bed and just close my eyes just for a few minutes. I just need a few winks. 

I can’t afford to be in this funk anymore. School starts and my practicum starts next week. I need to get myself moving forward. But I am just so drained.

There is so much good happening in my life, how can I feel so dark? 

People just assume that when good things are going on in my life, that I should be happy. That everything should be amazing on the inside and the outside, but often thats not the case. I am thriving, I am the woman I always dreamed of being – but some days are still so dark.

Some days are so painful but the difference between now and then is that now I don’t have to use or drink to go through these motions of life. Now I sit in the darkness for as long as it needs me, and I fight my way out of it when it’s time to come back.

Because there is only a specific alloted time allowance for this darkness to take space in my life today. I have much to do.

But for the next few hours I think I will sit in the darkness and just allowed myself to take the time to rest.