The lady that was doing my ultrasound today, stopped suddenly and stood up. She told me to stay put and that she had to go talk to the radiologist. I was already panicking because that’s what I do, but when she said that my head started spinning.
I lay there and replayed the images flashing in my mind, of her measuring the 3 lumps that looked like peas in a pod. I shouldn’t have been looking at the screen, but I wanted to see what was inside of my breasts. I needed to know. Not like I could even understand what I was actually seeing.
I also told her about the swelling in my armpit, and as soon as she looked at it she was kind of shocked. It looked nothing like the other one – so much that she was taking images of them as well in comparison to one another. She even asked me if I lifted weights, but I don’t know if that was just get trying to lighten the mood.
So back to scanning my breast and the lumps she went. She took more images, and then she stood up and handed me a towel. Like I said, she told me to stay put while she went and talked to the radiologist. I didn’t know what that meant. Why did she need to do that? Did she see something?
On her way out the door I asked her the time. Five minutes to three. I told her my parking was good until three, and that I had to be at work for four. She told me she would be back soon.
Maybe six minutes later, felt like a thousand years. She knocked at the door and then walked in and told me we were done. I was a bit confused. Why did she leave me covered in gel laying there with towels on me. She told me that she spoke to the radiologist and she said that whatever was there, didn’t look troublesome.
I didn’t think that would happen, not the part about nothing being there. But the part about the ultrasound technician talking to the radiologist right away and let me know not to worry.
I went from thinking I would have a week of pointless freaking out – to being calmed down 100%.
I walked out of the hospital, nearly skipping.
I called my mom right away to tell her what had happened, because I was texting her when the lady left the room. When I arrived at my car to unlock the door, I was also happy to not have been ticketed. But instead I was met with my back driver side window being rolled all the way down.
Because I was so rushed I forgot to close it.
And the first thing I think about is my laptop and school work in the trunk. And as I am opening the back door with my hand through the open window, my heart is sinking.
So I pull the back seat down, and there sits all my important stuff. Just as I left it.
And my body feels not so scary now, after the radiologist said not to worry. That the lumps are not troublesome.
And my whole world feels calm now.
Becoming Brave 